Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
