We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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