At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
