no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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