So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
