We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize