it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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