Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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