I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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