Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
