we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
