Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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