the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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