i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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