Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
