some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
