Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
