I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
