note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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