Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just had sex on a roof
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
