Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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