Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
