that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
nutella sex= disaster
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
