apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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