Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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