a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
