Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
