the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
