i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
