Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
