why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
