So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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