you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize