I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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