ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
