what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
