He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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