Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I didn't notice because vodka
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
