Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
