He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
