You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
