Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
