I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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