i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
