We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
