i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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