Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
