i just wanna soil my oats bro
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
