Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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