I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
