a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
