So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
