went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
