worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
