But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
