if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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