we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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