This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
