I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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