Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
