You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
