This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
