i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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