We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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