The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
pray to the hookup gods
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
soo... how was my night?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
